By Pastor John Mateos Ong
Discipline is one of the most debated topics between most of the parents. But one thing is true, it is biblical and holds a crucial role in honing your children’s character
Disciplining your children can affect their future, positively or negatively. The same thing happened with Eli and his children, Hophni and Phinehas. His two children keep the offering for themselves and sleep with the women who serve at the entrance of the tent. He rebukes them but they did not pay attention to it for the Lord plans to put them into death. And so Hophni and Phinehas died on the same day at the battle between Israel and Philistines. When Eli knew about the gruesome news he fell on his back, broke his neck and died for he was old by that time.
Now, the root of all this is a lack of discipline. When you do not discipline your child as a kid he will grow up carrying a bad character that may bounce back not only to him but also even to you who supposedly disciplined him long before.
We said that discipline is biblical which means it has right purposes why it is a must; here are the 4 Cs of discipline so we can define and distinguish it from unruly punishment:
1. Compassion – our goal is not to take revenge on our children but to show compassion even if we are disciplining them. It is out of love, and not out of revenge or just to punish them for what they have done. Remember, never discipline with an angry heart, it should be an act of love.
2. Consistent – when disciplining, it should never be only when it's convenient, it should never be changing from time to time and should never be according to your emotion. Discipline should be consistent so that your child will differentiate what he did wrong and its consequences from things he did right. The same action yields the same result.
3. Clear – many people have been disciplined without knowing what they did wrong. Many parents tend to do this mistake, they let their child figure out why they are being disciplined because they thought the child already know and understand his/her bad behavior. Effective discipline is the one that the child knows and he accepts why he is being disciplined.
4. Corrective – This is the big difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline must have a purpose of correcting. Your child must know that saying sorry isn’t enough to make everything even. However, it should not be too harsh or too soft; the goal is to discipline them to correct them and not to condemn them for their wrongs. Discipline should have redemption and must be enough to be remembered.